To myself

I doubt anyone else will be reading this, but I'm writing this to myself and will want to look back on this if I ever need to. 
So I really do love Shadow so much, he means the world to me at the moment and suddenly everything seems to have fallen into place, I love him a lot and I think he's so so so special. 
So we began our clicker training, and like it was said to expect, we've hit the mouthy stage, but nevertheless he's still behaving and being the good boy which I know he is and I love him a lot for being a star. 
We've pretty much mastered the backing up- today we were in the field and I thought I'd see how he'd respond, I asked for back up and we got it, he started walking backwards and I needn't touch him. This week I'm hoping to carry on pursuing our stand still task and see how long we can keep going at walking away. 
I sometimes think that I've messed up everything and I'm useless, but wanting sympathy will get me nowhere and nor will feeling sorry for myself, so I've got to bite the bullet, stand up and we're going in for it. With the saying which is probably ruling my life at the moment 
'All great achievements require time' 


I know everyone has specific goals, but all the goals are floating around in my head and I think I need to break them down into small chunks and decide which ones would be better to go for to start with. So task number one? 


- Basic ground manners- stand still, back up, move over, head down and leading without running off for the grass. 
   That goal we're doing pretty well in, he backs up well, he is beginning to stand still more and leading there has been a big big big improvement despite having the odd moment- but he will lead in without being held! 


- Riding- walk forward, stop, back up
 Okay so these ones will take a while, we're getting a school at the yard thank goodness, with rubber surfacing which will make my life a whole lot easier- because to Shad it's just like being back in the paddock with the grass, so it's not really his fault, but I do want him to understand that when I'm on him, he listens to me. Everything else we'll take as it comes, no matter how much I get upset and can't do it, I need to remember that we CAN do it and we WILL do it. 


So basically, Amy, if you're reading this and are either on a all time high or low, then read this and remember. 


All Great Achievements require TIME